According to my sisters, there’s no better way to reward
yourself for a job well done, than by doing a little impulsive shopping. But, I
think that they were referring to clothing, not a pet monkey. Today, I was about 500 mets away from buying
my first monkey.
Don’t worry, I didn’t end up going through with it…Yet.
I guess word got around the neighborhood that I was in the
market for a monkey, and some guy stopped by my house today to tell me that he
heard I was looking and had one he was willing to sell. I was speechless, totally caught off
guard. I was only half-kidding when I
had mentioned it to my neighbor a few weeks ago. But, as I’ve had more time to
process it, I’ve come to realize the distinct possibility that I may never have
this opportunity again. It’s hard to not let that influence my thought process. I want a monkey. And I want to be best friends with him.
At first I thought the guy was only calling me over to ask
for something (a common occurrence, multiple times each day), so I tried to
play dumb and pretend like I didn’t understand what he was saying to me. But he was persistent, and I’m actually
pretty glad he was. When I figured out he was talking about monkeys, he
rightfully earned my full attention and understanding (however little
understanding that may actually have been).
I’ve never fought so hard to contain a serious rush of
excitement propagating through my body. Throughout
our conversation, I kept drifting off into a day-dream where I was feeding
bananas to a cute little monkey that lived in a small house I made for him in
the cashew tree behind my house. Must…get…a…grip.
Those fantasies only got worse when we went to go see
him. Followed by my Army of Criancas,
the kids that were hanging out at my house when Tudu the Monkey Guy arrived, we
all left and went over to Tudu’s house to inspect his monkey. He’s cute…sort of. But, it’s a monkey, and that’s what
Important. As he ran around the guy’s
yard, he became a whole lot cuter. Also, his was pretty funny too. Along the walk, he told me that he named the
beast Godzilla, “…like the monkey in that movie that takes the woman.” I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he
was confusing a rampaging monkey for a rampaging giant, radioactive
lizard. At least her got the rampaging
part right.
Even knowing I have a history of making reckless decisions
when it comes to pets (i.e. Mox the cat, Turtle the turtle), I wanted nothing
more than to shove money in this guy’s pockets for his monkey. But I couldn’t do it. I managed to defeat my inner child and stand
my ground, perhaps proving to myself for the first time that I have the ability
to be an adult and make mature decisions.
There comes a point in time when you have to start learning from the
mistakes you’ve made in the past. After
all, as my good buddy George Santayana once said, “Those that forget the past,
are doomed to repeat it.” That wouldn’t be so bad in this case (Meghan now has
the cat and treats him like a prince, while my parents are enjoying the
presence of a turtle in their house), but I’m quickly running out of people to
just unload my pets onto, and there’s that whole morality thing too.
So, I’m gonna think this one through. I told him give me four weeks to think
about. I need to keep settling in, I
told him; I need to do some research.
First and foremost, I need to make sure I’m not going to be arrested,
thrown in Mozambican prison, and featured on locked up abroad just for having
this monkey. He told me that he bought
it in the bush, which probably means he caught it one day when he was out there
doing whatever it is Mozambican’s do in the bush. I have no idea what the legal repercussions
are for owning a monkey in Mozambique, so that’s first on the list of things to
do. And, on the off chance that he’s
part of some endangered species…well, that’s another thing I need to look into.
Other things I need to research: what ype of monkey he is, what he eats, how
long does he live, is there a doctor I can take him to around here if he gets
sick, what type of environment does he like, how much can I expect to spend,
can I actually afford to have a monkey, do I have someone that can take care of
him when I’m gone (on trips and after I COS in two years…assuming he doesn’t
run away to the bush or monkey heaven). There’s a lot I need to do.
I don’t think I’ll end up buying him , but you really never
know. I am kinda of thinking that if it’s
only taken me four weeks at site to find a guy willing to sell his monkey, I
imagine I’ll have other offers down the road.
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